Scene Revised and Posted

Baring only passing resemblance to the original. Some significant reworking of the first 3/4 or so of the scene, but it's much better than it was. Not sure if it's as good as I'd like, but it could be worse. We'll see what my classmates think.

By the way...I don't believe I've mentioned it before, but I recently joined the ranks of the fine moderators over at Forward Motion Writer's Community. My primary board is the Mystery & Suspense Board. You should come take a look. I'm very excited to have this opportunity to help other aspiring writers achive their writing goals.